People-pleasing is the habitual prioritising of other people's comfort, approval and needs over your own — not from generosity, but as a safety strategy. It often develops where belonging once depended on being agreeable, and overlaps with the fawn stress response: appeasing as protection.
The tell is what happens inside: genuine giving energises; people-pleasing quietly drains and breeds resentment. The kindest version of you is not the one who never says no — it is the one whose yes actually means something.
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