How To Stop Fearing Failure

Do you fear failure?

This fear is a sneaky one. It can creep up on us in both direct and indirect ways. Check yourself against the following list and see how many of them you answer yes to as a beginning barometer of your own fear of failure:

1. Do you worry about disappointing yourself or others if you fail?
2. Are you worried that failure will dictate your level of intelligence and capability?
3. Do you beat yourself up when you fail?
4. Is anxiety present in physical ways when you fail or contemplate fear of failure, such as headaches, upset stomach, nausea, etc?
5. Do you distract yourself from the task at hand in order to put off following through, because you fear failure?
6. Are you worried if you fail people will lose interest in keeping their relationship with you?
7. Are you concerned about what other people will think about you if you have to tell them that you failed at something?

Why we fear failure

Fear of failure is as natural as happiness. It’s something we all experience, though hopefully much less often than happiness. Fear of failure typically stems from the following areas:

• Tendency towards Perfectionism
• Low Self-Confidence
• Taking Things Personally
• Childhood Patterns and Trauma
• Being in an Unhealthy Culture / Environment

Next Steps

Yeah, you probably have a fear of failure on some level, because the truth is we all do. There is hope. Whether you fear failure in your personal life, career, or relationships, follow the below steps in order to put yourself ahead of the fear and keep on keeping on, girl.

1. Fear Works For You, Not the Other Way Around:

Every emotion is valid but they shouldn’t control you. You can manage them. Emotions are something we all experience. The key factor here is to accept that you will feel unpleasant emotions from time to time and to acknowledge them without getting carried away in them.

2. Take time to Process 

If and when you do fail, and we all do from time to time, it’s ok to feel bummed about it. In fact, it’s natural and to be expected. Allow yourself some time. Journal out how you feel, and when you reflect think of a positive outcome. Did you learn anything? Are you grateful it didn’t work out? It may take time to answer those, but keeping them in mind will help you to let go.

3. Move On:

Focus now on what you can control. Own your failure, be humble, do not beat yourself up, and keep going. It can be easy to feel like things are out of your control when you gave something your best shot and it did not turn out how you wanted. Know that you did your best, pick up the pieces, and try again another way.

I Ain’t Never Scurred 

“…I’m not sure if that’s a word, but I mean every word,” raps Post Malone. We could take a lesson from him. Don’t be scared. Recognize the emotion when it comes up, then laugh it off and welcome it. It will pass and you will be stronger for it. If you’re feeling particularly scared, sit with that and ask yourself:

• • What specifically am I the most scared of with this scenario?
  • What is the worst possible outcome of this scenario?
  • What are all the positives in my life if I do fail at this?
  • Remind yourself you will be ok, no matter what

Get out there and fail. Pick yourself back up, and fail again. Repeat until you succeed, and long after you succeed. It’s all a part of life, and it’s not so serious. Let’s enjoy the ride.

If you struggle with anxious, self-critical, racing thoughts and consider yourself an overthinker then don’t worry..I’ve got you…Check out The Overthinking Toolkit.