How to Ask for Help and Why You Need to

Alot of us feel that we can and “should” do everything ourselves, and if we cannot then we are admitting that we are weak or worse, incapable. This could not be further from the truth. I’m going to give you an overview of why you need to ask for help, why you might have trouble with it now, and how to ask for help going forward. The good news is, you’re already reading this blog, which means you know you need some help. I got you. Let’s dive in.

You can’t get what you don’t ask for 

Think about it. Have you ever really wanted something that you needed to ask someone else in order to get, but you were so afraid of what they would say that you stayed stuck in your own head instead of asking them? We can’t get what we don’t ask for. 

People are not mind-readers, and that includes you. If you want a raise but have never brought it up or asked for one, you might harbor resentment for your place of work for not knowing but it may not have crossed their minds.

Why you don’t ask for help 

Asking for help is difficult for many people to do. If you have a hard time admitting that you need or asking for assistance, it is likely due to one or more of the following:

• Fear of rejection
• Admitting we are not capable of completing this on our own
• Afraid of coming off as needy

Ways to ask for help

If you have a hard time asking for help, fear not! There are ways to do it that will improve your chances of getting help and reaping the benefits that come along with it. Oh, did I mention that asking for help and receiving it comes with massive benefits? 

Once we cover how to ask, we’ll talk about all the ways it’s awesome for you.

1. Offer help in return:

When you ask for help, it becomes easier when you offer help before and after the request. People will feel more inclined and you will have more confidence when you ask.

2. Ask more than one person: 

This increases your chances of getting help and takes the pressure off you and the others by asking more. You might even get multiple yes’s, which is even better!

3. Time your ask:

Determine if who/what you are asking help on needs to be done at a certain time. You wouldn’t try to call a tech company at 10PM if you need help and know their office hours are 8-5, for example.

4. Consider breaking up your request: 

If you have a large ask, think if you can get it done in steps that make it more manageable and thus more likely for you to get the help that you need.

5. Be direct: 

It can cause some anxiety to ask for help, and with that, it’s easy to feel flustered and add a lot of fluff to our request. The best way is to be direct. Let someone know in a clear and concise way what exactly you’re asking of them so they can make a decision.

Benefits of Asking for Help 

Now that we’ve covered why you might have difficulty asking for help, and some new approaches to try it out, we’ll get to the good stuff: the benefits of receiving help.

• By asking for help, you can make progress at a faster pace and likely with more efficiency. Someone may have the knowledge, skillset, or resources that you do not and be able to help you move forward.
• Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows that you know yourself well enough to determine if and when you need help, what, and from who. There’s a lot of confidence and awareness with this.
• Ease the stress and pressure off yourself by getting help and seeing something through.
• Asking for help can bring you closer to other people and establish new connections.

Last but not least, asking for help builds a sense of gratitude. When we get help with something we need, we are often overwhelmed with appreciation. Express that to the person you asked, and see how good it feels. The next time you’re debating asking for help, re-read this blog and get to asking.

If you struggle with anxious, self-critical, racing thoughts and consider yourself an overthinker then don’t worry..I’ve got you…Check out The Overthinking Toolkit.