Childhood Trauma

How to Stop Caring What Others Think

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Listen, I get it. We live in a world where all of our lives, celebrity, and non-celebrity alike, are constantly on display for the droves of strangers on the internet to judge.

While it used to only be people in the spotlight who were exposed, now we’re all in the spotlight, and it’s getting hot, and crowded. I don’t know about you but the only way I have been able to maintain my confidence, self-worth, and sanity is to learn how to stop caring what other people think. This especially applies to the people I don’t know.

Fear of not being included

Caring about what other people think, which includes their opinions and judgements of us, stems from a place of fear. That fear is typically associated with being left out. When we fear being left out or not included, we often over-correct or change our personalities to keep other people happy. This is not only dishonest to the people we are wanting to make happy, but it is also being dishonest to ourselves.

Fear of judgement can often stem from a deeper notion that we are not enough because we are shifting our energy and focus to what other people think about us, instead of what we think about ourselves. 

Fear of judgement is associated with a desire to be liked by the majority of people the majority (if not all) of the time. This is an act in futility, and the sooner you accept that, the happier you’ll be.

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Negative impacts of caring too much 

Caring too much about what other people think harms you more than it harms them. In our intimate and close relationships, it’s important to limit our judgements. If we do choose to share them, we must do so tactfully and not in an intentionally hurtful way. 

However, many people will allow the fear of judgement and opinion to stop them from being themselves and trying to have relationships.

Maybe you were judged by a friend, and now you’re less inclined to attempt new friendships. This is one example where too strong of an emphasis is placed on caring what other people think. This type of fear is negative and in the long-term will hold you back from being vulnerable and reaching new friendships, relationships, and self-esteem levels. 

When you come from a place of confidence and worthiness, it’s easier to get over someone’s opinion and reinforce the relationships that serve you instead. 

How to cope

While I’m not advocating for you to stop caring what other people think about you entirely, I am advocating for you to raise your self-esteem and care less what others think. When you are operating from a strong set of values and moral compass, other peoples thoughts and opinions will be way less likely to affect you at all. 

Here are a few steps to help you in the right direction:

1. Acceptance 

the sooner you accept that people will judge and have opinions about you, the less power it has over you. It’s not your job to make everyone like you, because that’s impossible in the first place. It’s also not your job to convince someone you deserve to be in their life, or you deserve to be liked. That comes from a place of neediness, unworthiness, and desperation which often have a more negative impact on someone’s thoughts of you. Be confident in who you are and accept that those who want to be in your life will, and accept those who don’t want to be aren’t for a reason. Stop trying to control the judgements of others.

2. Time

Even if someone’s judgement or opinion really gets to you, accept that it will not last forever. Your emotions and their opinion will fade and heal with time.

3. Vulnerability 

Contrary to what you may think, allowing some judgements into your intimate relationships can be quite liberating. Instead of stopping yourself from sharing or being vulnerable out of fear of judgement, reassure yourself that even if you are judged, it is not on you and that opening up is often worth the risk. Don’t let fear hold you back from sharing and being open about who you are.

If you struggle with anxious, self-critical, racing thoughts and consider yourself an overthinker then don’t worry..I’ve got you…Check out The Overthinking Toolkit.

Is Your Overthinking Sabotaging Your Success?

Take this quick quiz to find out whether your overthinking habit is holding you back from getting the success you know you deserve.

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Take the quiz!

Is Your Overthinking Sabotaging Your Success?

Take this quick quiz to find out whether your overthinking habit is holding you back from getting the success you know you deserve.

IS YOUR OVERTHINKING SABOTAGING YOUR SUCCESS?

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Take this quick quiz to find out whether your overthinking habit is holding you back from getting the success (you know) you deserve.